cutie....pa-tootie! ! !

medium...hot...and...cold???

2006-03-21T21:20:00.000-08:00

my whole day yesterday was just okay, nothing significant or whatsoever...

there were the downside of my times.....ok lang.....(hormones? )

got really fine when i talked to a friend who really listens, you know?

pro talaga naman...bad things happens for no reason at all...

or should i say, bad things happens when you least expect it...

haay nako talaga....

how can such a very good conversation turned out to be so terrible?!

kainis...with the rudenes and all! kainis na...nakakalungkot pa!

don't know, how could somebody just drop the conversation like that?

that's why, i really do believe in effective communication....

sometimes people just judge you right away without getting into the facts....

people are sometimes frustrating but i just can't do anything but accept them and let them be.

the harder i tried to reach out, the more they moved farther away from me.

or maybe, i'm just pushing myself too much....so, i just thought of drifting away from them.

no matter how much.... that's okay, i guess.... i'll just let the time do its own working.....

you can't really blatantly tell them who and what you are, anyways....so ....that's just about it....

my thoughts for this day? " patience is a virtue" & "in time, they'll realize who, what and how am i really at and/or for them"

it's just so hard to justify how truthful you are to a person ....nope... i shouldn't do that, coz i know myself too well....

maybe because, sometimes i don't consume myself in what they say to me either.

but, whatever it is, haay nako, i need not to be so naive......

...alone....

2006-03-20T12:23:00.000-08:00

posted this at tristancafe.com site....got good feedbacks...tnx!

link: http://www.tristancafe.com/forum/42073#c1228970

sometimes it's so hard to imagine why people just use you. but, they said, God made you for them- those who are in need. i know, i can't truly savor the wonderful feeling of giving, if the one i'm helping doesn't really need my help. It's just so hurtful to see and accept that they could turn their backs on you, just like that, after they got what they wanted or they realized, they won't get anything from you anymore. now, i'm dealing with the reality of life, it's much harder and i can't help but remember my younger years where i don't have to think of anybody else except myself and my own happiness. i feel like, i have to be selfish sometimes but i can't. i keep telling myself that God made me for something or someone. the only thing that makes me going is learning that at the end of it all, even though, i didn't get any in return (so, i try not to expect anything back), people don't appreciate my existence and cares, people just take me for granted or worse, take advantaged of me, I still feel intact but weary (of course, that's part of it) coz i know, i did my part and pleased Him the best way I can.
i also thought that sometimes, i feel like i won't be able to give anything anymore but still, i'm trying to be there. they said, it's called stupidity or self-love doesn't exist in my being. but i thought, how could i love myself if i won't love somebody else? loving myself is loving someone. i won't be able to love myself, if i won't love the important people around me. i'll feel so damn empty if that will happen. i can't just go on with my life knowing that somebody is in despair. but sometimes, people don't want to accept things (just like me). so, all i can do is just respect that. and all i can do is to express my love through prayers. i do believe in DIVINE LOVE. i read about it and i know, it does exist and it does work. i just need to be patient and more loving. i need to love God more than anyone else. He's the source of everything---strength, love, thoughts, power, patience, understanding, etc... and from there, i know, divine love can be channelled to everybody. i have to love myself, i know that. and i do believe too, that loving God first, is also loving yourself in a way because you learn to love all His creations, and yourself included.

dream on

2006-03-11T15:59:00.000-08:00

A very deep and intense kind of emotion, that even though no one’s uttering a single sweet word nor gentle, soft caresses which will send butterflies to your stomach, but just the mere presence of the person, is so greatly enough to make you feel so secured, loved and accepted……that’s what will soothe the longing, terrible pain and confusion.
And what if you’re not in the same plane? And what if the other person is looking for more than what your deep feelings are? Can you blame this person or yourself? Can you blame them if their state of passion can’t meet? So many questions……
It’s not how much you openly feel or totally give to a person that matters. It’s how you communicate your desires and understand the other’s flaws and shortcomings…..that’s why it is simply called LOVE.
I really don’t know…hmmm…can’t help but dream…someday….I know…someday…..
hmmm....I know, as what they would always tell me, no such thing ever exist! But, I do believe in working it out….”eagerly” working it out… whatever! I think, it’s time for me to stop. SMILE! That’s what I got from watching and reading too much so-called “perfect” love stories...no wonder, I don’t even watch TV nowadays!

i'm thinking and asking........

2006-03-09T15:01:00.000-08:00

THINKING AND ASKING…....

loving without expecting any in return
caring and thinking without any response
until when can you stand all the hurt and pain?
is it called stupidity or simply loving purely?

when you think it’s already God-given
when you feel everything’s alright
in spite of all the flaws and disagreements
how could you really tell, when once so strong and now so weak?

do you have to settle for destiny?
or should you make way to live and struggle to be happy
they said if it’s God’s will it will be
but how could you really tell if you’re in the middle of insanity?

should you still love after all the misery?
or should you just keep it to yourself
and dream it’s still forever be
how could you really tell the future
once so bright and now so vague?

if you really love so honestly,
purity and togetherness once bound by unity
how could you really stand your love in pain
or how could you really enjoy life half-heartedly?

MY ANSWER? harharhar!!! ako din sumagot.....
give what they’d asked……you’ll be in pain (you have to go through it) but you’ll be happy later on with God’s love and guidance, you’ll never go wrong……..

this is cute

2006-01-21T23:32:00.000-08:00

i'm an ocean! hahaha!!!

2006-01-08T16:55:00.000-08:00

Video provided by Music Video Zone

You're An Ocean
(Fastball)

Can you make it easier for me to understand
How you're holdin' my heart
In your tremblin' hands
I say rise to meet me halfway up among the stars
You may be from Venus, but I'm definitely not from Mars

Chorus:
You're an ocean, you're an ocean
Settle down, settle down
What's the commotion?
I'm an island, but you're an ocean
It's a stormy sea of love and emotion
You've got me suspended motionless inside

Make the warm winds circle round my head just like you do
If I could do it, I could turn it to you
I believe I'd buy whatever you would sell to me
Nothin' in my life ever came with a guarantee

Chorus

I believe I'd buy whatever you would sell to me
Nothin' in my life ever came with a guarantee

Chorus

from tristancafe.com

2006-01-02T14:40:00.000-08:00

GOODBYE
(JUANA)
ALBUM: MISBEHAVIOR

Didn't mean to hurt you badly
Don't think that I am fooling around with you
So sorry for the time you've wasted on me
So sorry for the things that you went through
But I know that the problem's within me
You're so nice but your love don't deserve me
Or maybe I'm just so scared to fall in love again

I can still remember the days
So many times, I've been hurt
So much trust I put on a relationship
So much suffering I got and the pain still remain
Know I like you but I don't wanna take the risk
So confused and I don't know how to deal with it
Need some time for awhile before I give my heart away

CHORUS
Don't say goodbye
Don't say goodbye
I need some time for awhile before I give my heart away

Don't say goodbye
Don't say goodbye
I need some time for awhile before I give my heart away

Now, I know I wasn't thinking before
That's why I'm always ending up with Mr. Wrong
Learning from the past, don't wanna make a mistake
You could be Mr. Right or could be a fake
You know I like you but I don't wanna take the risk
So confused and I don't know how to deal with it
Need some time for awhile before I give my heart away

[Repeat CHORUS]

AD LIB

[Repeat CHORUS]

was that us you or me?

2005-12-29T20:54:00.000-08:00

this video said it all......it was so sad....... haaayyy.......those were the days........i'm just wondering if ending in this video will be like ours......................

YOU made my day!

2005-12-28T21:52:00.000-08:00

before signing off, i usually read my biblegateway.com verse of the day and for today, this really made my day more right and happier..... "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ” (John 14:1-3)....good night friendly friends! thanks for checking out my profile---you know where it is! stats keep coming up! hope you like my food for thoughts! i'll put up some more so come back, ha? ;-)

what did santa gave me......

2005-12-28T21:49:00.000-08:00

before anything else, merry christmas to myself and to my dearest friends and family! santa's gift was very unique and could i say, a blessing this christmas.... he brought me colds, severe headcahe, fever and chills (hehehehe) so i just stayed in bed, kept myself warm and dozed the eve off!!! hehehe!!! couldn't really get up,......though i was still able to go to my relatives' house that late afternoon very quickly just to unload gifts then, attended the 7pm mass, that's a great accomplishment already....yey!!!

well, it was a happy and blessed christmas for me......

*saw my handsome and super kulit na inaanak...but i think, i shared my colds coz just hours before leaving, he's sneezing na...sowi pow!

*got to attend a christian mass.....very ok sya----not only because they serve good food (hehehe! not missin' my fats yet!) but it's fun!..........hmmm....i wanted to attend a christian church dati pa kaya very happy ako kc i was able to experience it.....

*spent time with my close friend....na kahit L.A. lang sya....once in a blue moon lang kme magkita but still we're there for each other.......o diva? kya nga labs ko yan....superdupermegaover2damaxtlgangtlga!

*got to look at things more clearly.....ehem....clearly....(cough! cough! cough!).....clearly.....ok, ok, ok hindi dala ng sakit ko yan........CLEARLY!!! hahaha!!!! baliw na talga ko......wla n tlgang mgagawa jan!

kidding aside...totoo yan.......sabi nga ni friend kong c s.j., "clouded" ang situation....pati ang brain ko ....kya baliw nako...hehehe...ngaun po kahit gano ka-foggy ang san fernando valley ang utak ko ay clear na clear--- parang walang laman.....take note...parang lang.....dala lamang po ng sobrang pagkukunwaring pagkabait bait...hahaha!!!

wla lang pong mgawa...o diba may sakit pa po ako nyan......masaya lang po (better not pout nga e!).... kc i found my ONLY HOPE>>>>>RAINBOW!!! So, mga friendly friends please check out my newly uploaded video sa profile ko (friendster account)! CIAO!!!

and check out also my newly uploaded pics....why do i miss my sis' dec31st bday and our new year.....o diba? disisyete palang halatang love ko na ang food!!! hehehe!!!

happy new year!!! ;-)

i love norah jones!

2005-12-28T13:38:00.000-08:00

FEELS LIKE HOME

SUNRISE

Sunrise, sunrise
Looks like mornin' in your eyes
But the clocks held 9:15 for hours
Sunrise, sunrise
Couldn't tempt us if it tried
'Cause the afternoon's already come and gone
And I said hoo...
To you
Surprise, surprise
Couldn't find it in your eyes
But I'm sure it's written all over my face
Surprise, surprise
Never something I could hide
When I see we made it through another day
And I said hoo...
To you
Now good night
Throw its cover down
On me again
Ooh and if I'm right
It's the only way
To bring me back
Hoo...
To you
Hoo...

WHAT AM I TO YOU

What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Fast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue
When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so
If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball
When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin' true
What am I to you
Yeah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never wanna part
I'm giving you the ball
When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies
I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin' true
What am I to you
What am I to you
What am I to you

THOSE SWEET WORDS

What did you say
I know I saw you saying it
My ears won't stop ringing
Long enough to hear
Those sweet words
What did you say
And now the day
The hour hand has spun
Before the night is done
I just have to hear
Those sweet words
Spoken like a melody
All your love
Is a lost balloon
Rising up through the afternoon
'Til it could fit on the head of a pin
Come on in
Did you have a hard time sleeping
'Cause a heavy moon was keeping you awake
And all I know is I'm just glad to see you again
See my love
Like a lost balloon
Rising up through the afternoon
And then you appear
What did you say
I know I saw you saying it
My ears won't stop ringing
Long enough to hear
Those sweet words
And your simple melody
I just have to hear
Your sweet words
Spoken like a melody
I just wanna hear
Those sweet words

CARNIVAL TOWN

Round 'n round
Carousel
Has got you under it's spell
Moving so fast...but
Going nowhere
Up 'n down
Ferris wheel
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high...
Looking down here
Is it lonely?
Lonely
Lonely
Did the clown
Make you smile
He was only your fool for a while
Now he's gone back home
And left you wandering there
Is it lonely?
Lonely
Lonely

IN THE MORNING

I can't stop myself from callin'
Callin' out your name
I can't stop myself from fallin'
Fallin' back again
In the mornin'
Baby in the afternoon
Dark like the shady corners
Inside a violin
Hot like to burn my lips
I know I can't win
In the mornin'
Baby in the afternoon
I tried to quit you but I'm too weak
Wakin' up without you I can hardly speak at all
My girlfriend tried to help me
To get you off my mind
She tried a little tea and sympathy
To get me to unwind
In the mornin'
Baby in the afternoon
Funny how my favorite shirt
Smells more like you than me
Bitter traces left behind
Stains no one can see
In the mornin'
Baby in the afternoon
You're gonna put me in an early grave
I know I'm your slave whenever you call
I can't stop myself from callin'
Callin' out your name
I can't stop myself from fallin'
Fallin' back again
Fallin' back again
Fallin' back again
Fallin' back again
Fallin' back again

BE HERE TO LOVE ME

Your eyes seek conclusion in all this confusion of mine
Though you and I both know it's only the warm glow of wine
That's got you to feeling this way, but I don't care,
I want you to stay
and hold me and tell me you'll be here to love me today
Children are dancin', the gamblers are chancin' their all
The window's accusing the door of abusing the wall
But who cares what the night watchmen say
The stage has been set for the play
Hold me and tell me you'll be here to love me today
The moon's come and gone but a few stars hang on on to the sky
The wind's runnin' free but it ain't up to me ask why
The poets are demanding their pay
They've left me with nothin' to say
'cept hold me and tell me you'll be here to love me today
Just hold me and tell me that you'll be here to love me today

CREEPIN' IN

There's a big ol' hole
That's gone right through the sole
Of this old shoe
And the water on the ground
Ain't got no place else it found
So it's only got one thing left to do
Creep on in
Creep on in
And once it has begun
Won't stop until it's done
Sneaking in
There's a silver moon
That came just a little soon
For me to bare
Shines brightly on my bed
And the shadows overhead
Won't let me sleep as long as they're there
Creep on in
Creep on in
And once it has beguun
Won't stop until it'd done
Sneaking in
There's a big ol' hole
That goes right through my sole
And that ain't nothing new
So long as you're around
And got no place else you've found
There's only one thing left to do
Creep on in
Creep on in
And once you have begun
Don't stop until you're done
Sneaking in

TOES

The current is strong from what I've heard
It'll wisk you down the stream
But there never seems to be much time
My toes just touched the water
My toes just touched the water
Daydreamed on the bank again
I was swimming with the fish
And I thought this time that it may be true
(But) My toes just touched the water
My toes just touched the water
My toes just touched the water
Walked a mile just to find the edge
Some place low enough to step right in
Now I'm here and I can't begin - to move
Walked a mile just to find the edge
Some place low enough to step right in
Now I'm here and I can't begin - to move
The spoiled sun up over there
It always has to have its way
And I know that the river's there to shelter me
My toes just touched the water
My toes just touched the water

HUMBLE ME

Went out on a limb
Gone too far
Broken down at the side of the road
Stranded at the outskirts and sun's creepin' up
Baby's in the backseat
Still fast asleep
Dreamin' of better days
I don't want to call you but you're all i have to turn to
What do you say
When it's all gone away?
Baby i didn't mean to hurt you
Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to
You humble me Lord
Humble me Lord
I'm on my knees empty
You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
Please, please, please forgive me
Baby teresa got your eyes
I see you all the time
When she asks about her daddy
I never know what to say
Heard you knocked the bottle
And helped to build the church
You carry an honest wage
Is it true you have someone keeping you company?
What do you say
When its all gone away?
Baby i didn't meant to hurt you
Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to
You humble me Lord
Humble me Lord
I'm on me knees empty
You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
Please, please, please forgive me

ABOVE GROUND

Underground I'm waiting
Just below the crowded avenue
Watchin' red lights fading out of view
Oh the air feels heavy
Everything just passes by
And I think that I'm a little shy
Meet me outside above ground
I see you on your way
I'll be with you someday, someday
Drawing lines above my head
But the fan keeps spinning over me
Just my thoughts to keep me company
Now I know I'm ready
Pour the night into a glass
Can I sip it slow and make it last
Meet me outside above ground
I see you on your way
I'll be with you someday, someday
Meet me outside above ground
I see you on your way
I'll be with you someday, someday

THE LONG WAY HOME

Well I stumbled in the darkness
I'm lost and alone
Though I said I'd go before us
And show the way back home
There a light up ahead
I can't hold onto her arm
Forgive me pretty baby but I always take the long way home
Money's just something you throw
Off the back of a train
Got a handful of lightening
A hat full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
And I love you pretty baby but I always take the long way home
I put food on the table
And roof overhead
But I'd trade it all tomorrow
For The highway instead
Watch your back if I should tell you
Loves the only thing I've ever known
One thing for sure pretty baby I always take the long way home
You know I love you baby
More than the whole wide world
You are my woman
I know you are my pearl
Let's go out past the party lights
We can finally be alone
Come with me and we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home

THE PRETTIEST THING

The prettiest thing
I ever did see
Was lightening from the top of a cloud
Moving through the dark a million miles an hour
With somewhere to be
So why does it seem
Like a picture
Hanging up on someone else's wall
Lately I haven't been myself at all
It's heavy on my mind
I'm dreaming again
Like I've always been
And way down low
I know
The prettiest thing
I ever did see
Was dusty as the handle on the door
Rusty as a nail stuck in the old pine floor
Looks like home to me
I'm dreaming again
Like I've always been
And way down low
I'm thinkin' of the prettiest thing

DON'T MISS YOU AT ALL

As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I hear children playin' laughin' so loud
I don't think of your smile
So if you never come to me
You'll stay a distant memory
Out my window I see light doing dark
Your dark eyes don't haunt me
And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand
And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm tough of your hand
As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all

2005-12-28T12:26:00.000-08:00

Once Upon A Dream
(Jekyll&Hyde)

……………….when the song began……………
……………….we knew it had a price………….

once upon a dream
we were lost in love’s embrace
there we found a perfect place
once upon a dream

once there was time
like no other time before
hope was still an open door
once upon a dream

and I was unafraid
the dream was so exciting
but now I see it fade
and I am here alone

once upon a dream
you were heaven-sent to me
was it never meant to be?
was it just a dream?

could we begin again?
once upon a dream

loving youtube.com

2005-12-27T01:23:00.000-08:00

from my friendster......

2005-12-26T20:13:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to... posted 12/20/05
don't say you love me
Artist: the corrs

JUST HEARD THIS AWHILE AGO & THEN, WAS SINGING THIS NA...... LATER ON, I JUST REALIZED..........HAAY NAKU....LALAKI TALAGA! hehehe....man-hater kuno ;-)

I've seen this place a thousand times
I've felt this all before
And every time you call
I've waited there as though you might not call at all
I know this face I'm wearing now
I've seen this in my eyes
And though it feels so great I'm still afraid
That you'll be leaving anytime
We've done this once and then you closed the door
Don't let me fall again for nothing more
Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
I've caught myself smiling alone
Just thinking of your voice
And dreaming of your touch is all too much
You know I don't have any choice
We've done this once and then you closed the door
Don't let me fall again for nothing more

inspirational stories and food for thoughts.......

2005-12-26T16:12:00.000-08:00

i wanna share this with you. all are inspirational stories and some are food for our deepest thoughts....
*Love is bigger than simply falling for someone. Emotions fluctuate character doesn't.
*Happiness and wholeness are hard to find if you'll look for it from someone you love OR .....you think you like. Just look deeply within yourself. Discover what will really make you happy, peaceful and complete and you'll be fine. FOR REAL! ;-)
*AUTHOR:
Francis William Bourdillon (1852- ?)
QUOTATION:
The Night has a thousand eyes,And the Day but one; Yet the light of the bright world diesWith the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes,And the heart but one; Yet the light of a whole life diesWhen love is done.
*September Quote of the Month. "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love" ~Mother Theresa. 9.16.04

click below:

http://www.indianchild.com/inspiring_stories.htm

http://www.indianchild.com/gift_of_life.htm

http://www.indianchild.com/life_is_a_theater.htm

http://www.indianchild.com/beautiful_prayer.htm

http://www.indianchild.com/footprints_in_the_sand.htm

http://www.indianchild.com/food_for_thought.htm

and lastly, this one came from a good friend of mine and i wanna share this with you coz it's really uplifting and comforting......
http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/

it's not you

2005-12-26T12:28:00.000-08:00

( i read that in order for us to learn how to really love, we don't have to isolate ourselves. we have to be around people---irritating, imperfect, frustrating people. and now, that's what i did and that's what i got. )

don't wanna sound rude or anything, just wanna let you know that my posts are not about you, it's about me. if you think, you're a part of it, sorry, that's a big "NO".....i have enough problems of my own. please, life is not all about you and if ever, you'd take this in a negative way, all i can say is sorry, just think whatever you wanna think, it's your life anyway. good luck!

in the rough

2005-12-26T12:25:00.000-08:00

Anna Nalick

You say you fell while holding diamonds in your hands
"It's your fault for running, holding diamonds," I said
And I offer no sympathy for that
I hear that it was you who died alone
And I offer no sympathy for that
Better off I sparkle on my own
And someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough
I turned around 3 times and wound up at your door
Now you say you know all you did not know before
And I offer no sympathy for that
I hear that it was you who died alone
And I offer no sympathy for that
Better off I sparkle on my own
And someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough
I got your love letters
I threw them all away
And I hear you think that I'm crazy
I'm driving 95
And I'm driving you away
And I shine a little more lately
Someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough
Someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough
I shine a little more lately

mommy's letter

2005-12-26T12:24:00.000-08:00

i just wanna share this with you. my mom is so caring and loving and i was really touched. haaay...naku! i already told myself "DI NAKO IIYAK!" pero si mama mia ko....pinaiyak pa beauty ko.... well, at least, yun na lang nagpapaiyak sakin. Thanks talaga kay bestfriend Jesus ko. Love you mommy! And thank you so much! mwaah!!! mwaah!!! mwaah!!!

Date:	Fri, 23 Dec 2005 04:58:23 +0000 (GMT)
From:	"jOSEFINA OMANDAM" <-------------@yahoo.com> View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:	Merry Christmas
To:	"Candace Omandam" <------------@yahoo.com>

dearest dace,

merry christmas to you and to everybody. tahimik na dto sa office; halos nag half day na yon mga employees. hinihintay ko lang si nato. dadalhin nila dito; punta sila sa greenhills. ayaw nilang isama si nato baka daw mawala pa. kasi masyadong malikot at pasaway tong si nato. dito na lang kami sa office; kasi baka maubos lang yon datong ko no. sumasakit nga yon ulo ko sa bayarin ko. kamusta ka na. paki sabi merry x-mas kina bryan, to his parents, and to tita winnie and to pouch. san ka ba magcelebrate ng x-mas. kami dito lang siguro sa bahay. magluto lang ako ng spaghetti,chicken barbecue at potato salad/fruits salad. sayang wala na sila mon-mon; malungkot ang pasko namin kasi nga kami-kami na lang. last christmas di ko masyadong na-miss yon 3 kings (bin-bin, frayan & frannkee) siempre ikaw rin no!!! kasi nga nandito yon mga anak ni mon-mon, kahit pano masaya kami. ikaw, no ba ang preparation mo sa x-mas. simba ka. dace nga pala, may nakita akong poem sa tingin ko bagay sa yo to. ready ka na:

ECHOES OF OUR HEARTS

Sometimes when we close our eyes and just listen to the echoes of our hearts. We all fall in love and there are times when we love so much that we lose ourselves in our own emotions. More often than not, we wonder why there are love that grows, and love that grows cold. We would start to search for answer and try to find where love has gone wrong. But in the end, we find ourselves where we started for we cannot question love when it has its own reasons. Love will always be as it always has been...silent, mysterious and deeply profound.

Many of us believe that love is forever, that love never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing. We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled. But love is only a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hands for we may never find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave. We should only embrace its warmth and glow while it last and then freely open our arms when its time to say goodbye.

When we fall in love with someone, we don't want that feeling to end for its everything we are, everything that we wanted to be. We pray that love will stay and grow in our hearts. But, if it doesn't then we should never let our lives be taken by it, for life should not end where heartaches begin.

There is always a reason why we have to move on. When we have to say goodbye to the feeling we wanted to stay forever, let us not wave our hands with a heavy heart; for love will have to set its wings free and find the place where it belongs. We may have lost it but then again, when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will hear that feeling resounding silently forever.

Then we'll know that it has never left us, for the good that we have become because of love will always be there reminding us that we should be thankful and happy, not because we have lost love, but because, far once in our lives, that feeling lived in our heats and made us happy.

o di ba dace it's true. kaya tama yan ginagawa mo, move on and find your new love; love is not everything. it's better to be loved and lost, than not at all. just pray to our Lord to guide you, give you wisdom, knowledge and understanding. sige na nga at si nato gusto ng matulong at wala daw siyang katabi.

Merry Christmas to all especially to nanay.

love and miss you,

mommy

To All My Friends......

2005-12-26T12:21:00.000-08:00

I had this in my files for quite sometime now and I didn’t know why I kept it. Well, before, it was really nothing to me but now I can say it is something. This may be true, but anyhow, I learned something from this. I hope you will too. I already forgot where I got this so pardon me if I can’t give you the source.

To My Friends Who Are………. SINGLE

Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love’s only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best!

To My Friends Who Are………. NOT SO SINGLE

Love isn’t about becoming somebody else’s “perfect person”. It’s about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are………. PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE

Never say “I LOVE YOU” if you don’t care. Never talk about feelings if they aren’t there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn’t intend to catch her fall and it works both ways…..

To My Friends Who Are………. ENGAGED

The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are………. MARRIED

Love is not about “It’s your fault”, but “I’m sorry.” Not “where are you”, but “I’m right here”. Not “how could you”, but “I understand”. Not “I wish you were”, but “I’m thankful you are”.

To My Friends Who Are………. HEARTBROKEN

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are………. NAÏVE

How to be in love: Fall but don’t stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are………. POSSESSIVE

It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it’s more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are………. AFRAID TO CONFESS

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts more when someone breaks up with you. but love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are………. STILL HOLDING ON

A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn’t worth it. If he isn’t worth it now he’s not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now.

Let go…….

TO ALL MY FRIENDS………..

My wish for you is a man/woman whose love is honest, strong, mature, never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding, and unselfish. Can I add ”GOD-GIVEN” LOVE?

***Feels so good to be with God****

you tube.com adik 4 2day!

2005-12-22T16:54:00.000-08:00

got hooked at you tube.com

well, here are the songs that i played:

KUNG ALAM MO LANG
(Tagalog version of "Because I'm A Girl" by Kiss)
Roxie Barcelo

hindi mo na kailangan pa
ito`y sabihin pa
na mayroon nagbago
sa loob ng puso mo
wala akong magagawa kundi palayain ka
kaya pinilit kong wag aminin sa iyo

kung alam mo lang kaya
ang tunay na nadarama
nanaisin mo pa bang lumayo sa piling ko
at kung alam mo lang sana
kailan man di mawawala
ang pagibig ko sayo lagi nasa puso ko

akala ko ay kaya na
nga yong wala ka na ngunit hindi pla
lumutin ka ay di magawa
palagi kong tinatanong sa sarili ko ito
ikaw ba ay lalayo kung lahat ay inamin ko?

kung alam mo lang kaya
ang tunay na nadarama
nanaisin mo pa bang lumayo sa piling ko
at kung alam mo lang sana
kailan man di mawawala
ang pagibig ko sayo lagi nasa puso ko

pipilitin kong itago ang lahat ng ito
ngunit patuloy kong tanong
kailan kaya magwawakas oh ito

kung alam mo lang kaya
ang tunay na nadarama
nanaisin mo pa bang lumayo sa piling ko
at kung alam mo lang sana
kailan man di mawawala
ang pagibig ko sayo lagi nasa puso ko

i had an affair with an impostor....................

2005-12-22T10:00:00.000-08:00

The last time I saw him was one weekday morning. I sent him off to work. We said our goodbyes and kisses (didn’t know that will be the last time). We can’t even let go of each other but he has work and I have work too, and so, we parted. He even blew his horn as his last goodbye. But, well that didn’t stop there, as I closed my door, I heard my phone rang and it’s him again and we had this long talk that we usually have in the morning while he’s jammed in the traffic. I didn’t know that will be the last time. I didn’t have any idea or auras that will be last of it or should I say, the last of him.

He came home from work with this problem that’s beyond our control and it just killed us. Calm as we are, we just put it aside hoping for a better result. One problem came after another. Days had passed so quickly, I couldn’t even recollect the details but I could say the tension at home and in the relationship. Either it’s our work load that got into us or it’s just the simultaneous stress and problems that we fought all the time up to the littlest nonsense details. Soon, we thought we had enough. I thought I had enough but because I thought and I believed, it’s still okay----everything and anything can be worked out, I didn’t see it much as a problem. Until, he gave up. He quickly got his friends and had his fun and of course, it required additional time of him. I, being the believer, trusting and okay…okay....stupid, so nicey girl gave him all the freedom and understanding he might need. (But that’s not new to me, we’ve been on that rule since we started and I realized after my “little, long journey” of being alone, we gave each other too much of a freedom to the point that we let it go so freely and when the other one got into something they couldn’t leave, they got stuck and for the other one, all you can have is a BIG sorry. That’s it! Well, anyway, so much for the explanation……)

And so, the drama started when the human in me knocked and just came in. Maybe he was surprised, I don’t know. And then, the drama never stopped and the silence never ceased and the pain never left, the throbbing just kept going and going and going…….and all we had in the end was NOTHING!--- I think.

When he asked for the space, this selfish witch gave it all away and thought, “How much more of a freedom do you need?”. I believed, and he knew that all the time, that space and cooling off is not my cup of tea. This witch told the selfish unknown guy that it would be better to completely break this off rather than let him hang around whenever he wants or likes. We talked and tried but according to him, he’s so selfish and it just didn’t work----easy as that. I think we tried, I don’t know if we really did do our best. Maybe this familiarity made us too complacent. Maybe, he was back but he’s not really back or maybe I tried to be there but I wasn’t really there. It was too cloudy and hurtful and I don’t know anymore. Maybe, it wouldn’t really work out because I had my share of meanness too. Or he just simply gave up!----the last thing I would expect from him.

Tried my best to just go forward and move on…...no turning back this time. I was doing very well but the truth just kept popping out of nowhere whether I seek or not. The stupid me, entertained the impostor several times and would get hurt again and again and again in the end.

Until one day, I couldn’t anymore. I faced the reality, I saw him again and I knew he’s not that…..I was so mad, very disappointed and……just sooooooooo mad! The truth and reality are there but the man isn’t! It’s so annoying! But he’s right, what would I get from those assumptions and thoughts. For me, these will all be straightened out if only he would say something. Yes, the trust is there. But what would be the use of that trust if the other doesn’t give any assurance that it’s still worth to trust?

I came to appoint that I asked Jesus to give me more strength, more courage, and more chance. I know, He did give me that. That’s why, I’m writing this. I got to the end of the road and there’s nowhere else to go but to turn back and face it! And besides, I’m tired! Tired! Tired! Tired! Tired! So TIRED of believing and trying to convince myself that he’s still here where in fact, he’s long gone and I really have to let go----all the way!

I realized that I sought for peace and I thought that’s the end of it. When he died, I went with the impostor because I was so impatient and was so nice and was so in love…I didn’t even bother to consider how much pain I went through. I lived with a lie. I couldn’t accept that he died in my arms and in my heart and that was it. I thought he’s the one but he’s not because they’re not the same.

He died and let me go because I wasn’t ready. When he died, he wasn’t ready anymore, also. Maybe he thought of my thoughts and found himself looking for wholeness. I believe that he should not come to me in order for him to feel complete. Nobody can complete you except God. You should learn to find happiness within yourself so you can bring happiness to others as well. If you keep looking for it in other people, you will not find it. You will just find their faults because you think, they can’t make you happy. But the real score is, you are simply not happy so whatever, the other person does to you, you will never be happy. Argh!!!! okay…..too wordy!!!!

And back to my story, I could still remember his jerky voice brought by crying. Yeah, he’s very right. I keep loving, almost all the people around me, so intensely and yet, I couldn’t love myself much. So, now is the time to give myself a big, great love that nobody else can give except of course, my self and Jesus.

I still love to love. I think that’s my purpose in life. I just can’t stop loving. And I know, I learned so much and I really learned it good. Love is, yes, so unfair. Before, giving too much doesn’t really matter to me because I love the person and I don’t expect anything in return but I think there’s always an end to everything. Now I believe that if I’m going to give my 100% love, of course, I’m not gonna expect only half of what the other person could give.

The restart of something is a very difficult process. I’m a little careful now because I know so much time, effort and emotions will be utilized and/or invested. I’m just human, I’m nice but sometimes I’m not so nice. And I think, now is the time to be not so nice. Or should I say, to be wiser and to be more self-loving so I can give and love more.

I think, once you gave all the trust and love that you have, you’ll not be able to give more because that trust and love will be so hard to find the next time. With God’s guidance I know and I hope this next time, will be_______________. J

wala lang....

2005-12-19T22:33:00.000-08:00

kainis naman...lalaki talaga...o ako lang....ewan ko....hindi ko na talaga maintindihan.....i want to be alone and yet i know i will still need a friend, confidant and ....well, kainis talaga...hindi ko na alam.....wag na talaga...hindi na talagang talaga...nakakadala...ang sakit na talaga...trying to be strong...i know i am but i can't take it anymore...i think i'm gonna give up.....but still, strong ngako..kaya why should i.....i just need my best friend back...i need my best friend back..please...i miss my best friend...i want my life back....want it back...but if it's really not meant to be...then i know i should let go even it is so painful...i can't explain it anymore...i don't know what to say anymore....i know the only good thing that's happening to me now is i'm closer to the Lord and i'm getting to know him better but i can't really deny that i'm missing my bestfriend.they keep leaving....maybe it's really me...but i tried and tried my best...maybe i'm just trying too hard....i don't want to feel this anymore...i hope when i wake up the next day, it will be back the way it was or i may surpass all of these.....i still don't know why this had happened...or maybe i know, i just don't want to really accept it......well, i just have to be strong...i know i'm not alone....God will always provide....

you don't know me......

2005-12-10T11:38:00.000-08:00

I am who I am. I am very open and REAL. Except of course, for just one thing…....but still, my family knows about it and my closest friends…so that made me still TRUE and REAL. Yes, I’m careful but for right reasons. That will not make me less as a person.

You don’t get it? Then maybe, you don’t know me at all. But, I hope you know, even just a little about me, because I know you. Not entirely though, but mostly.

I value your opinion---very much! (if you only knew) It’s just so disappointing that you still don’t know me or is it I, who don't know you? Well anyway, nobody will know the real you…..years don’t matter….that’s why life is a learning process. It’s just how you value the person. Even the closest person on earth is still getting to know you---be it your parents or friends.

I can be so bold and careless without wrecking other people’s lives, safety and happiness. I can fulfill my happiness without losing their trust and respect. I value them so much that I can’t hurt them.

If I know, I’m already doing something selfish and hurtful, why do I have to drag other people’s feelings and lives just for me to feel and think that I can still have fun? As long as I’m happy and not stepping on anybody, why do I care?

I know I can have foolish fun and do stupid S--- without bothering or dragging other people’s B--- for my own selfishness and unexplainable immaturity!

I know God is always here for guidance. He knows what’s best. It’s just so heartbreaking that we let evil conquered our thoughts and feelings. So sad that we let the evil deceived us. I know, we’re not perfect and I know, “God commanded us to forgive instantly, but we are not expected to trust immediately, and we are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt us.”

“GOD DOESN’T EXPECT US TO BE PERFECT BUT HE DOES INSIST ON COMPLETE HONESTY.

(I just hope everything’s gonna be okay. I’m tired of the circus! hahaha!!! Seriously, it’s all up to Him now and that’s what I call---TRUST.)

What I've learned from pareng warren.....

2005-12-09T18:36:00.000-08:00

***Thanks to pareng rick warren ;-)***

I'll add more next time. These were taken from THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE--highly recommended by me (",).

God wants me "to love REAL people not IDEAL people".
========((()))=========
I like people who want to invest time with their friends and loved ones because "the best expression of love is time".
========((()))=========
The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them. The more time you give to something, the more you reveal its importance and value to you.
========((()))=========
Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time.
========((()))=========
The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
========((()))=========
Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment.
========((()))=========
Sacrifice is the essence of LOVE.
========((()))=========
Love means giving up--yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit of someone else.
========((()))=========
You have no guarantee of tomorrow.
========((()))=========
The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.
========((()))=========
God always acts in my best interest, even when it is painful and I don't understand it.
========((()))=========
GENUINE FRIENDSHIP IS BUILT ON DISCLOSURE.
========((()))=========
I obey God, not out of duty or fear or compulsion, but because I LOVE Him and TRUST that HE knows what is best for me.
========((()))=========
Knowing and loving God is our greatest privilege, and being known and loved is God's greatest pleasure.
========((()))=========
Trusting Him completely means having faith that He knows what is best for my life.
========((()))=========
Love cannot be learned in isolation. You have to be around people---irritating, imperfect, frustrating people.
========((()))=========

I DON'T KNOW...........

2005-12-06T15:30:00.000-08:00

i'll know..... in time......
don't have to look .......
don't have to wait.........
it will just come naturally.....
wherever... whenever... whoever ... at ... WHATEVAH!

(NO! NO! DRAMA....NO! NO! NO! NO! DRAMA!)

;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

+++ Everything is a blessing. :-)
+++ HE really loves me .....and I LOVE YOU TOO SO MUCH!! YOU NEVER FAIL ME!!! MWAAAH!!! MWAAAH!!! MWAAAH!!!

my BESTEST bestfriend ever!

2005-12-06T15:26:00.000-08:00

only my BEST bestfriend can guarantee FOREVER!
and I'll meet him soon and i'll be in peace! mwaah!!!

HE:
+ Never made me cry....
+ Never forgets me.....
+ Never let me go......
+ Never fails me.......
+ Never left me........

and I:

THANK HIM SO MUCH!
I LOVE YOU FOREVER!
MWAAHH!!

candace who?

2005-12-06T15:23:00.000-08:00

===candace===

= is NEW
= is so in love with her CREATOR
= loves to LOVE
= is sometimes not so nice......
= still likes bad guys but good guys are better :-)
= is still a "my hump babe"
= enjoys life
= loves to give (so much & whole heartedly)
= appreciates when she receives
= believes in real, true and honest friendship
= is fulfilling her purpose
= is continously searching for the TRUTH and ETERNAL LIFE
= is dreaming ........and reaching for her goals!
= is PURO KA-UGALIAN, KAISIPAN, KAGANDAHAN, at.....KALOKOHAN! he3x

my hump! my hump! my hump!

2005-12-06T15:22:00.000-08:00

dis song is so annoying na ha! but i still love it! check it out na!
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump (8x) my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

heartaches.... heartbreaks.....headaches!!!

2005-12-06T13:00:00.001-08:00

don't ask, i don't know either--- huh? just like the videos (iyakin ako e....) but in real life....wag na! hehehe!!! Just wanna share these with you mga friendly friends!!!
FOREVER LOVE.....actually, yun lang naintindihan ng beauty ko....enjoy and babush!